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Can Healthy Friendships Make You More Attractive?

Can Healthy Friendships Make You More Attractive?

If confidence is the key to effortlessly attracting people into your life, then desperation and loneliness are like love life repellants. But it’s such a catch-22: how do you gain authentic confidence and satisfaction with yourself when you feel unconfident about your dating prospects?

Do you have to stoop to manipulative games of surrounding yourself with people giving you sexual validation even when they aren’t the ones you ultimately want in your life?

Here’s where solid friendships come in.

People who actually have caring, longterm friends don’t have to pretend like they are too busy to drop their plans for dating someone new, because they already have friends who continuously invite them to spend time together. They don’t need to rely on people they date to validate that they are interesting, attractive people, because their friends are already validating that they are interesting and attractive.

People with friends who invite them to spend the holidays with them, pick them up from the airport and celebrate each other’s birthdays don’t have a gaping hole waiting to be filled by a romantic partner, because those needs are already being attended to their friends.

People with healthy, honest, diverse friends don’t have to settle for for choosing between believing sketchy answers about why their new love interest isn’t returning their texts and their own inner neurotic voice telling them to suspect the worst. They have friends who share their honest, outside perspective on the situation and can more easily navigate uncertain dating experiences.

So how do we get healthy friends if we don’t yet have them?

Cultivating friendship is a lifelong process you can start at any time in your life. There are lots of resources online, and working with a trusted therapist, coach or spiritual leader can be a good way start. For a more embodied, in person experience, check out my upcoming workshop in San Francisco Create & Keep Gold Friends: A Workshop & Brunch.

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