The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts…. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.
~ Charles R. Swindoll
Is your dating life in a rut?
Do you hate dating advice but feel like you could use a little direction? I know that many single people feel stuck. It can sometimes feel like no matter what you do, you keep getting the same results. You may want to regroup but you just don’t know where to start. So to help me help you, I want to know where you are in your dating life. When do you know it’s time to regroup?
When single men and women start to feel broken, like love is made for others and not them; that’s when. That’s when its time to slap yourself and come to grips with the reality that it’s all in your head.
It’s hard to accept that there is nothing wrong with you when you’re single. There has to be something wrong with you, otherwise you’d be with someone. As crazy as that sentence sounded when you read it, this is what single people reiterate to themselves all the time. The dialogue of there is something wrong with me, I’m not good enough.
It’s time to regroup when you’re absolutely sick and tired of facing rejection and disappointments in dating. It’s okay to admit it, you’re not alone. The only way to change you’re dating luck is to change your outlook.
What you should know about regrouping your dating life is: the things that you should change must be changed or you will make no progress. There is no point in identifying the problem if you’re simply going to make the same mistakes over and over again.
Here is how I think you should do it:
- Think about everyone you’re dating now. If you aren’t dating anyone, that was easy already!
- Decide, regardless of if you are dating someone specific or not what type of commitment you want.
Do you want a long-term relationship? Do you want more dates and more adventure in your dating life? Do you want to have more sex? Etc.
If you are dating someone, ask yourself if you want to be in a long-term relationship with them?
If you do, great, just pause a second, if you don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone in your life right now, ever, at all, under any circumstances you should:
- Stop all contact with them
- Tell them the truth, so they can stop all contact with you
- Do nothing and they will probably go away on their own
Stop focusing on what you don’t like about yourself.
This is what I know for sure, the exact things you think are holding you back from finding success in dating, are holding you back. When you focus on what is wrong with you, it immediately brings attention to those very deficiencies. You have to accept for yourself once and for all; what you don’t like about yourself will not go away. You’ve made it an issue so it’s become an issue. All you can do is fix it or accept it.
Confidence can never be built if our problems and insecurities aren’t faced head on. In dating all insecurities are trivial you must forgive yourself, accept your faults, as you would expect anyone else to do and move on.
You have to believe that you are exactly who you are meant to be and perfectly fine this way. The person that is for you will want you, as you are.
So let’s say you have done step 1 of regrouping, the slate is clean, you know exactly what you want and you have no more timewasters in rotation. Wonderful. Step 2 might take a little longer but it only takes a moment to tell yourself this:
There might be things that I don’t like about myself but that is NOT what is holding me back from dating. I WILL meet the right person because my positive energy is attracting them, as I speak.
Don’t you feel brand new already! It’s time to start meeting new people and having a positive dating experience.