There are some people who can talk to anyone: I’m not that person.
While I do get along with most people I have struggled with actually holding a conversation about topics I just don’t give a f*ck about.
A huge turn off to most singles is when someone who you think you might like is sucking the fun out of the conversation. While you would like to know more about them, they’re rambling on about work, or some asinine subject that you know little about and could care even less.
It’s possible that the person you’re interested in is only slightly more entertaining than watching grass grow, what can you do to pick the conversation up a notch?
I’ve had the best looking guys offer the most non-stimulating conversation and it was a bummer. It didn’t mean that I had to dead the interaction, it just meant, I would need to adjust how I was speaking. I typically don’t have the guts to initiate a conversation but I know that it is a necessary evil of meeting new people.
When you do end up talking with a potential date, you want to hold their interest. You don’t want to come across as dull or a know it all. You want to learn as much as you can about them and most importantly you want to be memorable to them. Stand out.
So how can you accomplish these tasks with the few moments you might be given to engage in conversation?
- Notice their body language and adjust yours. I know that you’re nervous. The way that your belly button is facing might be the last thing on your mind but it’s important that you set the tone for the interaction. Face your belly button towards the person your speaking with. Keep your shoulders square and lean forward from time to time.
- Ask open-ended questions. My ex-boyfriend had a copy of ‘The book a questions’ it’s literally just that. People like to talk about themselves but even more share their opinions. If you seem interested they will likely stay involved in the interaction. Don’t try to impress your potential date with your own stances on topics, pause and say, “Well, actually what do you think?”
- Don’t do all the talking. One of my pet peeves in dating is when a man approaches me with a slew of questions and I end up doing all the talking. It’s a fine line however between stating your case of why anyone should give you the time of day and staging an interview. Yes, you want to ask a few questions but keep them light. Compliment them on their watch, ask them where they got it, maybe follow-up with have they been to a new store around town etc.
There are so many ways to lead a conversation without taking complete control. Don’t think you have to do all the talking or that asking question after question is the best way to pass the time. You should notice within the first few statements if your potential date likes to talk or not.
If they do, and if it’s a woman your chances are good, let them.
You have to accept that interesting conversation is an art. It isn’t just about saying hello, asking their name or what they do for a living etc. You have to listen, offer statements of confirmation and more important you have to notice when you’ve lost your audience. The last thing you want is for your potential date to leave the interaction without knowing something about you or at least hearing what you had to say. You want to come across as someone who can talk to anyone but also someone who can listen as well.