What can you say? Your sex life isn’t as ordinary as everyone else’s. Maybe you and your partner have taken to the Swinger lifestyle (SLS) and love the fact that you can swap each other for different sexual partners, while still staying in a relationship. Or maybe you wanted to do away with all the emotional drama that anchors down current relationships and agreed with an acquaintance for just plain sex, a No Strings Attached (NSA) lifestyle. The question is, which one’s better?

Society’s judgment

In the eyes of society, both these lifestyles are taboo, with some places only disliking them to others outlawing them outright. However, those who adopt these lifestyles don’t care either way, since they believe (and they do have a point) what they do in their private lives is no one else’s business. Nevertheless, for those who are bothered by people pointing and gossiping behind their backs, NSA relationship is becoming far more common than the SLS lifestyle, meaning it is slightly more, if not completely, acceptable.

Effects on relationships

Deciding to opt for an SLS lifestyle is a big step for any couple, and all who decide to do so are willing to take a big chance by trusting their partner. However, as the famous quote goes, nothing ventured nothing gained, and this couldn’t be truer for SLS. Venturing into this lifestyle takes courage and being open towards your partner about your deepest feelings and your sexual fantasies, and while that may be difficult and frightening, it does wonders towards strengthening your relationship.

The same cannot be said for the NSA relationship, which advertises itself as free of emotional baggage, but sometimes ironically ends up turning a friendly relationship between two people an awkward or sour one. Even if that doesn’t happen you enter into an NSA agreeing to leave your emotions at the door, so it’d be achieving the exact opposite if you did start getting emotionally involved.

Ease of operation

This is, by far, the most underrated aspect of both lifestyles, since it’s not the first thing that one thinks of when discussing these lifestyles. Nevertheless, it is still worthy to mention that the SLS lifestyle is generally harder to “operate” in that the NSA lifestyle.

As those who participate in SLS will tell you, there’s the task of convincing your partner, then finding a willing couple to participate as your “playmates,” then scheduling times when everyone is participating is free; it is certainly a hectic job. In contrast, the NSA lifestyle entails finding one other person willing to participate and managing two people’s schedules isn’t as hectic a task.

Emotional baggage

As mentioned above, NSA relationships do tend to get very emotional, resulting in estranged relationships and awkwardly bumping into each other at the mall. But on the other hand, they could deliver as promised and you’d be able to enjoy a sex life devoid of unnecessary emotional drama, just like you wanted.

In comparison, the SLS swing could make you more confident and trust towards your partner and give you peace of mind. On the flip side, it could fester unhealthy fears of disloyalty and abandonment, making you feel less secure.

My verdict? Choose whatever suits you. Just because one person finds a shoe comfortable, doesn’t mean the next person will too.