I’m sure it’s a question you’ve asked yourself before every date you’ve ever been on.
Sometimes the thought is fleeting and over powered the excitement of our feelings for our potential date but other times it’s down right crippling. Well, what if they don’t like you? No seriously? What if they don’t, what are you going to do?
I don’t mind the asking of such a question, but most times we ask it without the slightest idea of what to do, once we accept the answer.
“What if your date doesn’t like you?”
Do we try to impress them? Should you buy them things? Should you make empty promises or sleep with them? What should you do? Dating is selling and if you don’t know how to tell someone about who you are, or in some of y’all cases hide your true identity, you’ll find yourself asking this question often.
You will always worry about being liked if you never learn how to be likeable. You’ll always feel like you’re trying so hard when you don’t know what you’re doing. Instead of asking ‘What if they don’t like me,’ ask yourself, ‘How can I get them to like me?’
Too many singles try to tell the story of ‘them’ from dinner to dessert. They’re afraid that if they don’t share every detail of their life, their date will somehow miss how wonderful they are.
It doesn’t work that way. You can make you’re date like you, by simply making them feel good.
1. Ask them open-ended questions.
If you’re really concerned about whether they’ll like you, delay their opportunity to judge you by letting them do all the talking. No one knows more about any other subject than they know about themselves. Asking the right questions makes it seem like you’re interested in getting to know them. Not only should your date feel excited to talk about themselves, they’ll think you’re as interested in them as they are in them. This will make them like you a little more.
2. Tell them ‘you’re absolutely right’, and ‘that’s so true’.
One thing that is a major turn off is feeling incompatibility. When you seem too different from you’re date, it can be a turn off. When they make statements that you agree with or that you think sound somewhat similar to your point of view, let them know with these few phrases. Everyone likes to be told that they’re right. It makes us feel good when others know that we know what we’re talking about.
3. Be positive.
There’s nothing more depressing than sharing a sad tale of woe on a date or being a Debbie downer. Men who are argumentative can also seem incredibly negative. There is no reason to have deep debates with a date over dinner. If you disagree with your date, guess what you don’t have to see them again. But being negative is selfish. It drains your date’s energy and if they were on the fence about liking you before, a bad attitude will definitely push them right off.
4. Be nice.
No one wants to be nice. You’ll seem like a pushover or easy but being nice goes along way. Being nice is the only way to ensure that you’re being yourself. Our nerves can make us act differently, as well as the pressure of wanting to be accepted. You can only ensure that you’re being more yourself when you can be kind.
The more you know about your date and the less they know about you is what determines how successful your dates will be. They will need to see you again to learn more. And their desire to do so will tell you if they like you or not, you won’t have to wonder.
Thoughts?