Introverts and socially anxious guys have a tough time establishing, developing, and maintaining stable romantic relationships. Social anxiety has the power to turn dating into a complete nightmare.
As if it isn’t already bad enough to have to leave your comfy bed and change into something more presentable. You will probably end up on the worst Tinder date with a boring accountant to figure out that the only thing you two share is awkward silences.
Unfortunately, if you want to find the date of your dreams, you have to put yourself out there.
Here are some dating tips for all of you introverts or shy guys that might help take the pressure off.
1. Realize That No One Is Perfect
A date can be quite stressful, even if you’re not dealing with social anxiety.
Introverts don’t find it easy to silence the inner critic and go with the flow. But you need to be aware that, even though your date might not be socially anxious like you, they are probably experiencing some form of pressure.
Being a bit self-conscious and stressed about a first date is quite common and normal actually. So, don’t worry about being perfect because no one is!
2. Keep It Real
You don’t need to spill out your deepest secrets on a first date. You should just be yourself.
Maybe you are wondering if girls like shy guys? Well, there is no straight answer.
If you’re not someone who enjoys amusement parks, concerts, or crowded places, don’t date an obvious extrovert girl who won’t be able to understand why you don’t want to leave your home for days.
It’s imperative to know what you want in a partner. Even though it might be harder to find the right match as an introvert, it doesn’t mean you should waste your time with the wrong person.
3. Brainstorm Conversation Topics
Now that you’ve decided that you want to go through with this, it’s time to brainstorm some conversation ideas.
I’m not suggesting you should go full “Sherlock Holmes” mode on your date, but checking their social media never hurt anybody. For instance, Instagram posts can give you an idea of what their interests might be, so why don’t you use that hiking picture from last week and turn it into a conversation gold.
4. Show Some Initiative
If bowling is not your idea of a perfect date, you’d have to have something in mind to suggest instead. You don’t have to explain your social anxiety – say something like ‘Can we do something else tonight?‘ or ‘Why don’t we go [x]?‘
Both of you must feel safe and comfortable. Someone who cares about you would show understanding.
5. Play It Safe
Going on a date with someone new can increase your social anxiety. So, in a situation like that, it’s better to play it safe with your looks.
Put on something that makes you feel confident but is also comfortable and pleasant to wear. Also, first dates are not the best time for experimenting, so stick to hairstyles and makeup you can quickly fix if needed.
6. Have A Foolproof Way Out
In all honesty, most first dates suck, especially for introverts. Uncertainty is what triggers anxiety, so having planned a way out of a potential nightmare date will keep you calm and enjoying your time out even more. Ask your BFF to be somewhere nearby so you can ‘accidentally’ bump into them.
7. Re-evaluate Your Behavior
If you have been on a few dates in a row and none of them went well, maybe it’s time to reflect on your behaviour on those dates.
That is not something you should be self-conscious about, but if you think you are not at your A-game with social skills, you should always ask for feedback from your best friend or family.
8. Go for Someone Who Understands You
Ultimately, we all hope for first dates to turn into stable and long-lasting relationships. If you are looking for something more substantial than a fling, you should be careful with your choices.
You’d want to date someone who knows and understands you deeply. Someone who respects your boundaries and preferences. Someone who won’t mind you nesting and spending hours and even days without leaving the house.
Summing It Up
Going on a date when you have social anxiety or if you’re an introvert can be a daunting activity. However, anxiety doesn’t have to stop you from enjoying life and love. Taking a few healthy steps can be a life-changing decision.
You can also read these dating tips for introverts and shy guys to help you enjoy your next first date!