Be interesting, be enthusiastic… and don’t talk too much.
Norman Vincent Peale
As a dating expert I’d say the most important element of dating is being likeable. When you are likeable others want to A. get to know you and B. date you. Where many singles fail in their approach or attempts to secure dates is in their personality.
Singles that have trouble getting dates in general have one problem; they are not interesting, to other people.
If you believe that people should be interested in you and talk to you just because you are a person, a human being and we are all interesting GTFOH(get the f*ck outta here).
Everyone isn’t interesting the same way that we all aren’t beautiful, we all aren’t wealthy, we all aren’t smart and we all aren’t funny. Being alive does not make you worth talking to.
Single adults of a certain age, especially those in professional careers, think that they are interesting because they have opinions, education and a mouth. In order to be interesting to others, you have to be able to show that you can add value and knowledge in an appealing way.
Being interesting is showing through your personality that you are knowledgeable and can add value to which this person hasn’t seen before and certainly can’t Google.
We have all met someone who could tell a story about butter and make it funny and riveting. Personality goes a long way but the true goal of being interesting is to generate desire in the person that you are talking to. A want to learn more about you and what you know.
So what makes someone interesting? An interesting person is someone who can share information in an exciting way. With passion, understanding and authority.
Passion;
Meaning with positive intensity. You might be very passionate about a subject but in a negative way. If you are passionate about women’s rights, instead of focusing on the oppression focus on the advancements. Just because you have a strong opinion doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive with your points. Have an exciting and upbeat attitude toward the subject you know a lot about. Whatever you talk about, make it the most fascinating subject by using creative adjectives and superlatives. Passion ignites emotions and positive emotions create attraction.
Understanding;
Means relating to the listener. When you learned of whatever topic is of discussion, I’m sure not every aspect appealed to you. Don’t rattle off facts and details like you’re in a classroom; elicit the most meaningful elements to which the listener can relate to you.
Have full awareness of the environment and the reactions of the listener. Understanding also means have a purpose! Before you share what you know ask yourself, “Why am I saying this?” “How is this useful to the listener?” Are you trying to make them laugh? Offer helpful information? Prove yourself to be smart, important or kind? Understand why you are talking about what you are talking about.
Authority;
Meaning you know what you’re talking about. Do you know who the least interesting people are? People who are full of shit. If you don’t make your point with confidence your listener will quickly lose interest in listening. You have to not only sound believable but also paint yourself as a reference of the topic. Instead of googling a subject your potential date should call you for the information.
How many times have you had a friend ask you about something they could just Google because you seem to be the authority. You can offer insights on a matter that will make others seek your point of view instead of just the facts.
The idea of being interesting is basically to show others they can learn something from you. Dating is competitive and it’s important to set yourself apart. Being interesting isn’t just being smart it’s being able to share experiences in a meaningful way, a way that adds value.
Being interesting is a little more than having a great personality. While a great personality makes others feel good, being interesting adds knowledge and value to their life.