What do you want from your love life that you aren’t getting?
Recently I’ve been reading ‘Life Matters’ by Dr. Phil and one point that he continually enforces is; you wouldn’t do it unless there was some sort of payoff.
You aren’t dating as much as you want to, you aren’t meeting new people, and you aren’t as aggressive in dating as you should be to see results, so I ask you why not? Is the comfort of doing things as you’ve always done them too appealing? We all need to get out of our ruts sometimes. We engage in behavior that simply isn’t working yet we can’t seem to stop ourselves. Maybe the reward is the comfort. The security of knowing what we will get even if it’s less than what we truly want.
I call this hamster wheel behavior. It seems like you’re doing so much and moving so fast yet you’re getting nowhere. Of all the dates that you’ve gone, with all the potential prospects that you’ve met, are you any closer to you “goal” than you were 3 months ago? A year ago? Chances are the answer is no.
The behavior you choose will determine the results that you get. If you aren’t getting anywhere with your current methods, I say it’s time to switch the game up. Date the right people. I can’t stress enough how important it is to date people that you respect and admire. Not want to change or groom to perfection. The right person is someone who you like as is.
The more you learn about them is the more you like them. The right person is someone who instantly attracts you. Gives you butterflies and excites you. The wrong person is someone who you have mild to lukewarm feelings for. Don’t date those people.
Stop making excuses
I’m sick of the reasoning, the rationalizing, the patronizing, and the justifying that singles partake in. Look, it’s you. If you didn’t know before, if you were on the fence, let me tell you straight up that you are the problem. The good news, you are the solution. Stop blaming the people around you, your options, your city, and the statistics and realize that you are attracting and creating your reality everyday with the choices that you make. I am asking you to make new choices that will garner new results.
You need to get absolutely real about who you are and what you have to offer. You need to get clear about what your dating situation truly is. For years I would say a meditation to attract a husband. For years I would attract marriage material men that wanted to settle down. I would find myself underwhelmed by them. I had to get honest about the fact that I didn’t want to get married. I wasn’t ready. Whatever it is that you want from your dating life, you have to get on the road that leads you there and not mill around in relationship back alleys.
Stop being negative
You need a better attitude. Plain and simple! The problem with your attitude is that you actually have one and it sucks, it’s not positive. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be fun, enjoyable, uplifting and inspiring. If you want to meet the right person you have to engage them with positivity. If you’ve read this far and said, “But I do these things!” in exasperation here’s the truth.
Believing that you do everything necessary to get a date and find the right person perpetuates the belief that you can’t change or that you don’t need to change. Something needs to change in order for you to find success in love. If what you are doing now is perfect and it doesn’t work, it will never work.
Successful people never fail at what they are trying to do, only at the way that they are trying to do it. I recommend that you take a good hard look at what you can do differently and make the change needed to be successful.