Single people are plagued with the idea that they know what they want; they just haven’t found it yet.
I’m sorry to break the news: but you’re wrong. One concept to accept in dating is that if you knew what made you happy, you would already be happy. Happy singles navigate the dating world in a completely different way, and that ain’t you.
I’m not saying that you’re riddled with doubt, insecurities and low self-esteem but somewhere in your soul you’re unhappy with your love life and finding the fictional partner of your dreams isn’t going to change that.
But your situation can be changed.
When you’ve been single for a while or haven’t had the best luck in finding great dates the biggest favor you can do yourself is to eliminate time wasting people.Only date people that will add value and meaningful experiences to your life. You might not marry them but at least going out with them wasn’t a complete waste of time. And sure, you’re free to believe that we learn something from every encounter but you don’t need to step on a minefield to know that they’re dangerous.
Dating the right people might seem like a foreign concept if you are still waiting to date. Period! It might not feel like you have the right to be picky when you’re starting from the bottom (Or worse lonely) but of course you do.
And back to knowing what you want…
The reality is, when you’ve been single a long time with very little prospective dates, as soon as someone shows you the least bit of attention you will throw your list out of the window. Especially if they’re in a pretty package! No matter what has been your dating history up until now, you have the ability to date amazing people who make you feel good about yourself. Who will value you and accept you for who you are, but how do you find those people?
MAKE ROOM FOR THEM
You will never meet the right person if your life is cluttered. Even telling yourself that you’re too busy to date or that some other activity is crowding your dating life creates clutter. Past relationships that you haven’t learned to let go of clutter your space and make it almost impossible to find the right dates.
Tell yourself: I want to date. I am ready to date. I can’t wait to meet the right person.
And believe it!
You are the biggest roadblock in finding amazing dates and not just singles who intend on wasting your time. Don’t allow anyone to get your hopes up and then disappoint you. You’re looking for the right person and that’s someone who is not only on the same page as you are but wants to give you what you’re looking for. When you’re weighed down by possibility instead of creating a relationship with other singles, that’s when the right opportunities slip away. Clear away the halfway, almost, not quite what you want relationships even when that means being alone. Once they’re gone, the right person can take their place.
TAKE OFF THE LIMITS
Have you ever created an excuse for not dating someone? I can’t tell you how many times single men and women insist on limiting their love lives. They make excuses for why they can’t date certain people. They create excuses for people who are inconsistent and unreliable.
Become open-minded about who you want to date by only choosing good people. Choose potential dates that are positive and that treat others with respect. Find singles who not only like themselves but who like you too! I want you to date the right people because dating the wrong people can heavily influence your self-esteem.
Just because you haven’t found complete happiness doesn’t mean that you’ve failed in dating but in order to attract the right people you have to do the following:
- Stop entertaining the people who make you feel good but treat you bad
- Create room in your life for new relationships
- Stop making excuses for why you haven’t started to make changes