“Dressing for success is something unsuccessful women do” Geoffrey Beene
Are looks really that important in dating? In a word, yes.
The reason how we look is so important, not just in finding love but several aspects of our lives, is because the marketing giants of the western world increasingly whet our appetites for beauty.
Whether it’s a new car design, a sleek new phone or a cleanly designed watch (not to mention the gorgeous models and actors companies hire) you can’t deny that beautiful things sell.
If you fail to meet the criteria of ‘beauty’ being well dressed, having clear skin, healthy hair and white teeth, you appear to be someone who either can’t achieve it or is too lazy to try.
The bottom line is there is no reason to look a mess. Let me rephrase that, you look a mess and its time to stop.
Looks matter and the only people who say they don’t are the very beautiful who benefit from the truth and the very ugly that suffers from it. I hear the argument all the time, ‘its not what you look like on the outside it’s who you are on the inside that counts.’ – If you believe this, count on being alone. If you want generic, run of the mill, old-fashioned boring love that’s cool, do you.
If you want exciting, hot, sexy, fun, jealousy inspiring love (which if you’re reading this, its likely that you do) you have to look as good as you want to feel. To quote one of my favorite movies of all time ‘Bring it On’, “If you want to be the best, you have to beat the best.” Don’t just do what you can with what you have, create your own personal standards and meet them! Discipline yourself to be the best you of your own design.
The only person who needs to love how you look is you, the problem is most single men and women don’t. They accept how they look but they don’t love how they look. We have gotten so used to accepting ourselves instead of being in love with ourselves that the thought of looking great is frowned upon. No one wants to look like they ‘tried too hard’ so many singles stop trying at all.
We all have our insecurities (super cliché) but dating isn’t about being ok with your faults, dating is about being so proud of your assets that no one even sees your flaws. Nobody is perfect (another cliché) but just because no one is perfect doesn’t mean you should use your wardrobe as a reminder. So how do you take your current body and your current sense of style and transform it into something hip, cool and appealing to the opposite sex. Basically everything that you haven’t been doing?
The easiest way to start; recognize the importance of looking good.
- If you start to leave the house in something that you slept in, stop.
- If you begin leaving the house not 100% satisfied with what you’re wearing, don’t.
- When you think of wearing a hat instead of combing your hair, heaven help you.
Don’t make excuses for not looking good, saying fashion is too expensive or you’re too out of shape to wear what you really like or worse tell yourself its okay not to be totally in love with your appearance.
How you look is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. If you dress like you live without mirrors or look like you and your hairline had a horrible fight, you could be sending the wrong impression to the person you’re trying to date.
Consider your looks a personal advertisement that says I’m a happy, healthy, interesting, kind and decent person. If your current appearance isn’t sending that message, it might be time to change your look and flip the script.
What is your external billboard saying about you?