In order to have the happy and healthy relationship I know you want and deserve you have to make a change. With one little word you can make a dramatic change in the results you get from your current relationships. Change is necessary because only through new actions can you create new results. Doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
I know you’re not crazy but what is a little bit crazy is how long you’ve been holding on the multiple excuses keeping you single instead of just letting yourself date happily. So the change that you will have to make isn’t a big one. It shouldn’t be scary at all. It’s one simple word that will make the biggest difference in your love life right now.
FORGIVENESS
Why it’s important.
The world works by the compound effect. The same action done over and over can make an incredible difference. The first time you become angry with someone isn’t the end of the world or the relationship. But every time you become angry with someone you build more and more resentment against them. Without forgiveness multiple resentments build up over time.
- When you are upset by something someone has done or said, here is a novel idea: forgive them.
- If someone calls you later than they say the will: forgive them.
- If a co-worker hurts your feelings: forgive them.
- If you feel disrespected by your date: forgive them.
The inability to “let things go” is a common quality of the single men and women that I come across. Worst than holding a grudge against others many people, regardless of relationship status, have a hard and fixed grudge against themselves.
From childhood wounds to yesterday’s foibles we fail to let go. It’s ok to admit that you have a laundry list of things you haven’t forgiven yourself for; one that you continue to add to on a daily basis. You’re not alone. For trivial wrongs like being late, losing our temper or even telling a bad joke we hate ourselves.
We think, “How could I do that?” or “I’m so stupid”.
But what if instead of getting angry with yourself for small, forgettable actions you used a new word: forgive.
If you’re late for a meeting, which I constantly am, instead of being frustrated forgive yourself. What forgiveness does is allow new rules to be written. It breaks the compound effect of negative self-talk and resentment. It breaks the pattern that convinces us we should always be angry or respond negatively.
- Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can change how you feel, act and think about yourself and others.
- Forgiveness can alter your state from one of anger to one of peace.
- Forgiveness is an immediate solution to pain and frustration and if you don’t believe me just try it.
- Forgive yourself for what you’ve done in the past.
- Forgive others for what you think they’ve done to you.
Write a meaningful and genuine letter of forgive to yourself. Forgive yourself every day for something. Add forgiveness to your vocabulary. Instead of getting angry, forgive. It will make a huge difference. I promise.