Home Self-Esteem What Every Man Should Know When Approaching Women

What Every Man Should Know When Approaching Women

When you’re single, you can easily waste time talking to people who aren’t interested in dating you. I sympathize with anyone who has the nerve to approach attractive strangers and risk getting brutally shot down.

I know its especially hard on men because I’ve witnessed the worst of rejections. I’ve seen women berate men for mispronouncing words or tell a man he’s too short. Ouch. These attitudes might seem excessive but their possible existence conjures real fear in men. I can only imagine that most men’s inner voice tell them, “beware of talking to women, they will hurt your ego.”

If you are a man considering approaching a cute girl or a beautiful woman, know this: she does not want to talk to you.

In fact a woman doesn’t want to do anything with you but we will.

My theory and personal feeling is this: a woman is willing to do anything a man suggests but lacks the actual want to do it. This is the goal of men, to provide the want.

Successful dating is all about getting what you want and more importantly getting it from other people. How is that possible if you’re unclear of what you’re trying to gain? The mistake all singles, but mostly men, make is thinking that everyone wants the same things so there is no need to bear intentions.

Dating is a battle of wills to some extent. A woman knows what she wants from any man that approaches her. It’s either nothing or something superficial like dinners, drinks, shopping sprees, or good sex, not your conversation. I don’t care who you think you are; a woman does not want to talk to you.

She will talk to you however, if you present the possibility that it will lead to the something that she wants.

That being understood a man should never strike up a conversation with a woman based on his need for companionship or conversation. Every interaction is an exchange. You have to give something to get something.

I accept that some men are lonely and find clubs and bars easy places to chitchat. Men have a belief that everyone in the bar, men and women alike , are there to meet people. False! There is some truth to this belief. A woman at a bar is there to meet someone just not you.

Women are very content chatting with their girlfriends and not strange men.

Women are very satisfied not having any shlumps ask them about the weather, their careers or what they’re drinking. Women don’t need your banter.

Your reason for talking to a woman should be to get her number or to sleep with her. If you’re unclear on the purpose of the conversation before you approach the woman will be too.  If you strike up conversation out of boredom or your desire to be social and don’t have an objective in mind you’ll likely face rejection.

Every time a man talks to a woman that he doesn’t know he should have a goal in mind. 

If the thought of having a goal makes you uncomfortable then reframe your thinking to purpose. Ask yourself before you embark on a conversation, ” What’s the purpose of this interaction?”

The person you’re approaching is thinking the very same thing. If they can’t find a purpose they won’t engage with you. If you want to be so vague as to claim enjoyment then consider this: how do you know what this person enjoys?

What I’ve found is that men make too many assumptions for women, and about women, in dating. The truth remains that both sexes has totally different wants and needs. If you aren’t sure what women want then it’s even more important to be clear on what you want.

The next time you want to approach someone ask yourself, “What do I want from this interaction?”

It’s okay to want something because intent is a critical part of success. What will you gain? Consider your approach a mission. Enter, execute then exit. If you don’t know what you want, now is the time to figure it out. Being decisive is an extremely sexy quality in a man. Use it to your advantage.

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