Dating is becoming a popular past time these days. With the competitive landscape that we live in, how do you get men to notice us and feel a connection? The answers could be in the first impression. Use these tips to boost your attraction and get the guy.
This post was written by Matthew Hussey – join the Get the Guy email list here.
On a first date, it usually takes a man about 60 seconds to decide whether he wants to take you out on a second date.
Wait – what?
Is that even possible? Sure it is.
Assuming this is true, my next goal is to help you get control of the situation – specifically those first 60 seconds – so that your guy walks away from your first date thinking, “I can’t wait to see you again…”
Uncover the 5 things all men notice immediately that make them want you in the first 60 seconds…
1. Men notice your joy for life
Do you greet him warmly? Do you smile and show you’re excited about the date? Do you seem like someone who has a passionate life? A guy is noticing all these things when you introduce yourself.
If you greet him with a limp-wristed handshake and have a neutral, uninterested look, he’ll assume you’re going to be a major downer rather than someone who brings positivity and general good vibes into his world.
I just used the term “good vibes” and I kind of hate myself for it. But it’s true.
He’s praying you’ll be easy to talk to. He’s crossing his fingers hoping you’ll have a big smile and a great energy. He’s hoping you’ll answer his questions enthusiastically and show you’re the kind of person who is excited about what you’re doing.
It sounds like a lot of pressure, but really, this comes naturally to those who live with passion.
2. Men notice when you’re interested
One thing that guys notice very quickly is whether a woman is self-involved or interested in getting to know him better.
If you don’t ask any questions or seem like you want to hear more about who he is, it makes him feel distant and he’ll quickly be turned off. It’s easy to fall into a passive mode of answering questions without reciprocating and showing genuine interest in the other person. Watch out for this trap in any interaction. Yes, men are often doing the impressing on a date, but he needs to see that you are intrigued by him as well.
You’d be shocked at how many women don’t do this.
3. Men notice when you’re self-expressive
How closed is your body language? Do you tend to hold back from expressing yourself or laughing or giving an opinion?
When a guy feels like you’re holding back, he feels like he’s not getting to the more vulnerable part of your personality that reveals who you really are. If you have defensive barriers or you get uncomfortable with real conversation, he’ll often interpret this as insecurity, which is a huge turnoff on a first date.
If you want to date a confident guy, it’s crucial to show you are comfortable with being expressive and showing your authentic self.
4. Men notice when you pay attention to detail
Women are turned off by sloppy, disheveled appearance, and so are men.
When he first sees you for a date he’s asking himself: Did she make an effort to look attractive?
You don’t have to always show up in the tiny red dress you save for formal dinners, but if you’re showing up in ill-fitted jeans and a hoodie, no matter how pretty he finds you, he’s going to be asking himself whether you’re someone he could be attracted to long term.
(FYI – I’m aware that guys are more often the culprits for being bad dressers, but believe me, as a guy who has been on his share of first dates, there are also women who don’t make the effort, and men do notice…)
5. Men notice your sexual confidence
Sexual confidence is not always easy to define, but it’s very easy for men to spot when someone doesn’t have it.
Men are looking for the quality that makes them stand up and take notice of you as more than a friend. It’s the slight glint in your eye or the warm hug when you meet them that makes them aware of your body for half a second. It’s sensing you’re comfortable with contact, even if it’s a tiny touch on the hand or arm.
It may be more accurate here to say physical confidence, but either way, it’s this that really changes you from a potential friend in a guy’s head to someone he thinks about sexually. If you get stuck in the friend zone a lot or don’t know how to get a guy to kiss you, this is the area to focus on!
Now that you know what makes a man want you in the first minute he spends with you, you can trigger his desire and make him plan a second date with you (even when you haven’t finished the first one).
Matthew Hussey is a British dating coach, YouTube personality and writer. Hussey has also made many television appearances, including being the matchmaker on NBC’s Ready for Love. He has been the resident love expert on the Today Show.