Disappointing, exhausting, and confusing – breakups can wreak havoc on our self-esteem.
Going through a breakup is a difficult process, even more so if you tended to rely on the other person as a source of confidence, happiness, and self-worth. That being said, there are ways to overcome this emotional dependency and begin to feel like you’re more in control of your life and your emotions. Here’s what you can do to turn the page, rebuild your self-esteem and feel comfortable in your skin after a breakup.
Give yourself some space
The first couple of weeks after a breakup represent the most sensitive period. Emotions are running high, you might be feeling confused, and may even wonder whether it’s really over or there might be a chance of you two getting back together.
The important thing is to give yourself some space. Don’t let emotions cloud your judgment and lead you to make hasty decisions.
Give yourself a couple of weeks to reassess your situation, reconnect with yourself, and gain some mental clarity. Keep communication with the partner on low or don’t contact them at all. Stepping back from the situation is a sign of self-respect and shows your partner that you value yourself, while also serving as an opportunity to reflect.
Recognize and embrace your emotions
Admitting that your relationship has come to an end can be difficult, and only after some time has passed do you begin to get comfortable with the idea that that person is no longer a part of your life. However, to be able to move on from a past relationship, you need to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Some resort to different coping mechanisms to make the process easier for themselves, whether it’s shopping, television, alcohol, food, or sex. This is understandable, as our brains are wired to avoid dealing with negative emotions.
As convenient as it might seem, pushing things under the carpet won’t solve anything. Quite the opposite, it’ll only deepen the problem. Instead of running away from your emotions, acknowledge their presence. Recognize them and embrace them as they are – after that, they have no power over you. After that, you can begin to use them to learn something from them. Making some time to get in tune with yourself will help you set yourself free and then you can begin to heal.
Take back control of your pleasure
It’s normal to crave intimacy once you get out of a relationship. However, you want to give yourself enough time to mend before you get intimate with someone else. This is important because your brain is still getting used to the idea of not being connected to the person you were in a relationship with.
Sometimes, instead of having a strong sexual desire, the breakup may reduce the sex drive. Either way, being single doesn’t necessarily equal inactivity in that department. For instance, you can try out some interesting sex toys for women and have some fun on your own. Exercising regularly, limiting your drinking, and getting more sleep are some other effective ways to improve your sexual performance and increase your sex drive. Take back control of your pleasure and you can rest assured you’ll give a boost to your libido as well as your self-confidence.
Celebrate your uniqueness
When we’ve been with someone for a while, it’s normal that our identities begin to merge. This makes it so easy for us to lose ourselves in our relationships. Sometimes, we might even adopt new behaviors and ways of thinking in order for our partners to like us even more. However, all this does is it makes us less authentic, causing us to tune out and start ignoring our needs and desires and only doing what others would prefer we do.
Getting out of a relationship where you’re used to always putting others’ needs first might be an opportunity to get more in touch with yourself, connect with your needs and accept yourself the way you are. Get curious, explore different things, and use this time when you’re single to let yourself be who you truly are. Embrace any ‘flaws’ you might have, get comfortable with yourself, celebrate your uniqueness, and try to love yourself more fully, as many of us aspire to do.
Splitting up from a person we used to love and cherish is never an easy feat. However, it can also be an opportunity to look within ourselves and learn from our mistakes, using them as a chance to grow and improve. Take your time to heal and focus more on yourself as this will allow you to find the strength to close that chapter of your life and move on as a more authentic, confident woman.