In my mind I have a picture of the type of man I’m looking for. He’s tall, fit and resembles Morris Chestnut ‘Brothers’ to ‘Two can play that game’ era. He’s smart, he’s not a millionaire, he doesn’t have to be all that funny but he’s fun, he’s supportive and he’s fine. Apparently that has been too much to ask.
When we can’t find what we think we are looking for questions start to surface to if we even deserve it. I hear so much rhetoric about what singles have to bring to the table. There is so much talk about if singles are really good enough for a “good” man or woman. Essentially if you’re still single are you really a catch? The scarier question being: if you find what you want, will they want you?
Obviously, that’s not a question I can answer for anyone but I have rejected enough men to know that sometimes who we think is perfect for us isn’t always checking for us. The most we can do as singles is just make sure we possess what our dates require. If someone isn’t interested in you it’s possible that your game plan was a bit off. It might be time to add a few more plays to your handbook.
Playing Hard to get Works
A little restraint goes a long way. If you are so excited about someone that you find yourself wanting to contact them aggressively and spend all of your free time with them, fall back. You’re turned out and that’s not cute. What offends anyone when singles show too much interest too soon is that you don’t know this person. You have no reason to already be so enthralled. Yes, crushes can feel exciting but most likely your zeal will be misconstrued as desperation. Chill out and calm the f*ck down. Its ok to text a simple hello on a daily basis but no one respects anything that comes to easily. That’s the truth.
Don’t Answer Every Phone Call
Don’t answer every phone call; don’t see them every weekend and when they invite to do something that doesn’t sound incredibly interesting just say no. It’s all a matter of control and wouldn’t you prefer to stay in it. This advice is always met with the weak and whiney refute of “I don’t like to play games.” There is no game about living your life the way you did before you met this person. Some singles are afraid that any of these actions might deter a potential date in the long run but it won’t. Patient people are rare in dating, being one or at least seeming like one is an advantage.
Be Upfront
It’s okay to tell someone you like them. It’s actually a really good idea. It may seem cheesy or awkward to be so blunt but definitive action can save you a lot of time. Imagine how you would feel if someone told you that they liked you. It’s a warm, fuzzy feeling coming from the right person. If you are dealing with someone who wants to waste your time admitting how you feel will expose their intentions. If you can’t express it out of fear of rejection, dig deep and man up.
Give Lots of Compliments
It seems that men are afraid of inflating a woman’s ego thus giving her the upper hand but the truth is the one who compliments has the upper hand. When you like someone it isn’t exactly them, it’s how they make you feel that you really enjoy. Compliments make others feel wanted and desired. Compliments also make people feel appreciated. You should compliment your date often, on as many traits as possible. The compliments don’t need to be profound, just leave out the words sexual and chocolate I think your date will be flattered.