Here’s a question for you, what’s the purpose of the first date? Most people don’t know the answer but the purpose of the first date is to get a second date. If you’re expecting anything more then you’re placing way too much pressure on yourself. First dates are meant to tell you if you can enjoy each other’s company. Don’t expect to learn their deep dark secrets or if they’ll be a good partner. All a first date can determine is if you feel good around this person, and enjoy being in their presence.
The typical first date is an official meeting between two people who first met on accident. Whether you met online, a chance encounter, or were set up by a friend or co-worker, the first date is a mutual agreement to meet on predefined terms. Before embarking on the date you might falsely believe that you’re there to judge your compatibility. It’s likely that you’ve already decided that you’re interested in seeing where a relationship between the two of you could go but you want confirmation your date feels the same.
Whatever your motivation for being on the date consider a new perspective. The purpose of a first date is to get a second date. This can happen very easily if you keep in mind the following tips.
Make your date comfortable.
Whether you’re really into your date, or you know you never want to see them again, do your best to make them feel comfortable. You can do this by opening your body language. Make positive eye contact, keep the focus on them and be a good listener. If you start to feel any tension or awkwardness, make an intentional move to break the ice like giving them a high five or making a joke.
This can be difficult because we’re as nervous as they are. We are trying to make a good impression and we’re worried about how we’ll be perceived. Don’t place so much pressure on the first date that you’re only concerned with making a good impression.
The more comfortable you can feel, the more fun you’ll have. Take deep breaths, and take the pressure off of yourself to decide that day if this is your future husband. By taking control of your energy you can help to make your date more comfortable and be more at ease, which allows you to be more yourself.
Be present.
The reason it’s easy to feel tense on a first date is because you’re around a stranger and you don’t know what to expect. Maybe you really like this person and you want to make them like you, or take you seriously. As great as it would be to have a long lasting relationship, your only concern is what is happening in the present moment.
Don’t worry about what comes next or where the relationship might lead. Again, take a deep breath and focus on the now. Make your date feel relaxed and comfortable by being relaxed and comfortable yourself. Don’t let you mind wander into what the future might hold, stay focused on the present and be in the moment.
End the date first.
When a man doesn’t ask a woman on another date, especially after they had a good time together, it’s likely because the date lasted way too long. By ending the date first you build suspense and curiosity. A man by nature will try to figure a woman out.
The longer you spend on the date the more time he has to solve the puzzle that is you. Don’t give your date the opportunity to piece together everything you’ve said and done, and come to a conclusion about you, before the night is over. If you’re having a great time, all the more reason to end the date and leave him wanting more.
Ask great questions.
The most common mistake women make on dates is that they don’t ask probing questions. You want your date to open up to you as quickly as possible. Once you’ve made them feel comfortable ask them open-ended questions about their hopes and dreams.
Ask your date about their aspirations and share yours. Curiosity is a very sexy quality. People who are curious also seem engaging, charming, important and rare. It’s typical for someone to talk about themselves, but by asking great questions you give your date a unique experience. They’re able to share things about themselves with someone genuinely interested. Even if you don’t get to share as much about yourself right away you can save it for date number two.
Have fun.
Be the type of woman who can have fun anywhere doing anything. If there isn’t much joy on the date then be the joy. Be the funny, entertaining, outgoing person. If it isn’t like you to let your hair down then dating makes for great practice. Having fun is the foundation of a great date.
If you do nothing else, then just have a good time. Laugh, smile, share stories and relax. Let yourself off the hook for having to live up to an expectation. You’re on the date to have fun with another person. Even if they aren’t your type, try finding one redeeming quality about them to enjoy for a few hours. If you can’t then by all means end the date. There is no point in spending time with someone that you can’t have fun with.
Keep these tips in mind before your next first date. Remember to have a great time. If you’re really enjoying yourself it’s likely your date will also. Be prepared for the best and leave your expectations at home.